Superman Saves Christmas, ca. 1947

Rasper, meanwhile, has taken delivery of a very special box of chocolates infused by his staff of chemists with a new “wonder drug,” and is already on his way to the North Pole via private helicopter to deliver the candies to Kris Kringle in a plot to ruin Christmas. And yes, his helicopter can fly all the way to the North Pole; it’s that kind of story.

Perry White assigns Clark Kent to follow up on the landlady’s story of mean old Rasper and when he does he learns of Rasper’s plans nefarious plans for the Jolly Old Elf, cueing him to swiftly change to Superman and fly off in pursuit.

We find Santa in the midst of last-minute preparations for the big day, which apparently involves running an obstacle course made of chimneys to jump in and out of.

Rasper arrives and gifts Santa with the doctored chocolates, which of course he eats right away. No, Santa! Don’t trust him!

Almost immediately after indulging in the sweets, Santa falls into a deep sleep, but that’s only part of the plan: while he sleeps, the wonder drug will balloon him to roughly twice his normal girth, making him too fat to fit down any chimneys. And just for good measure, Rasper also dopes the reindeer team with sleeping pills. Boo! Hiss!

Superman arrives “soon after,” but not soon enough.

On learning that he can’t even extricate himself from his rocking chair, Santa at last realizes Rasper’s plan and figures Christmas is off. However Superman’s not about to let that happen, so he initiates a crash course in weight loss, starting with a vigorous super-massage that leaves the jolly old elf black and blue, then moving on to Phase Two; sliding Santa across the ice at super-speed.

Directly ahead of Santa is a hole in the ice, terrifying him with the prospect of a freezing/drowning death before Superman rescues him at the last second. Sure enough, through sheer terror Santa has lost a few pounds already (maybe he should check his trousers), so we’re off and running.

Next comes a trip to Mexico where Superman reactivates a dormant volcano and dangles Santa over it like a giant steambath (because a real steambath would be so pedestrian. No word on how many nearby Mexican homes are destroyed, by the way).

Then comes a jogging session, but jogging on the ground isn’t scary enough, so they do it atop the Golden Gate Bridge. Other strategies include “aquaplaning” (apparently an early form of waterskiing, but scary for Santa) and participation in a frantic jitterbug dance contest. Sure enough in the space of a few hours, Santa is back down to his proper weight, because comic book.

Back at the North Pole, however, the reindeer are still snoozing away, so Superman opts to carry Santa’s sleigh himself. They don’t get far before they come across Rasper in peril: his helicopter has stalled on an ice flow that’s about to crash into an iceberg. They scoop him up and, spared a grisly fate, the old humbug shares his back story.

Being saved by Superman and Santa has melted Rasper’s heart and filled him with the Christmas spirit on learning that humankind is indeed capable of charity and good will after all. Of course neither Superman nor Santa are technically human, but I won’t tell him if you don’t.

And so poor old Cartwright gets his job back and his grandson gets a Christmas after all, including presents from Rasper. Meanwhile the landlady wins the “Meanest Deed I Ever Heard Of” contest but with Cartwright’s income restored, she gets to keep the cash prize for herself. All’s well that ends well. Assuming the reindeer ever wake up, of course. Also if the Daily Planet wants to justify shelling out that prize money, they’ll need to run the story about what a horrible person Rasper is and make him the most hated man in Metropolis, even though he’s already reformed. Oh, and there’s now an active volcano in the middle of Mexico. But whatever, it’s Christmas, so I’m sure it’ll all work out.