League of Extraordinary Oddballs: SUPER BODY-PARTS!

Sure, Superman and Captain Marvel can perform some awesome feats, but let’s face it, it’s sweaty work lifting cars over your head, leaping tall buildings in a single bound, etc.  Wouldn’t it be better if you could achieve the same crime-fighting goals while using 99% fewer body parts? Well, the latest two additions to our League of Extraordinary Oddballs can do just that.

First up is “The Eye,” a giant, all-seeing eyeball from…well, we don’t know where it’s from.  Another dimension? Heaven? Hell? Homeland Security?  Google?

Like a lot of omnipotent characters, The Eye has a tendency to speak of itself in the third person.

…although just how it manages this is anyone’s guess, considering it has no mouth.

The Eye has a knack for materializing wherever deviltry is being planned…

…and armed with this knowledge, recruits mortals to take action on behalf of justice, albeit with scant regard for privacy or personal space. 

When a situation proves to be more than its mortal assistants can handle — which is pretty often — The Eye intervenes in “person” to perform some handy miracle like destroying planes mid-flight…

…or melting cinderblock walls like ice cream…

Or just to prove it has a sense of humor, maybe the Eye will deposit a criminal’s car on the top of a telephone pole….

…or negate the law of gravity so foreign invaders are stuck hovering in mid-air when they try to parachute into the good old U.S. of A…

…or maybe just threaten any young readers who might be considering naughtiness.

Despite lacking what might be considered essential comic book ingredients like rippling pecs and biceps, or fists and feet to smash into random jaws, bereft not only of a cape and mask but even a head or body to hang them on, The Eye nonetheless proved popular enough to star in 16 issues of Centaur’s Keen Detective Funnies, eventually claiming the lead spot in the book.

After working its way through a revolving cast of human helpers, The Eye finally settles into a more lasting partnership with Jack Barrister, a crusading attorney (what, with that name you thought he’d be a shoe salesman?). Jack provides the legwork and fisticuffs while The Eye does the snooping.  

The pair would soon spin off into a new book, Detective Eye, which lasted for two issues before The Eye was closed forever.  

Not to be outdone, the fine folks over at Harvey Comics (later the home of Riche Rich, Caspar and Lil’ Hot Stuff) gave us another crime-fighting body part, The Hand, in the pages of Speed Comics.

On the upside, hands can be more…um…hands-on than eyes, right?  On the down side, hands can’t talk (like eyeballs do, constantly) so our “hero” is forced to present its calling card to introduce itself.

The Hand can grow large enough to smash foes…

…or small enough to shake the hand of an ally.

Interestingly, in the above image The Hand seems to protrude from a sleeve, suggesting maybe there’s a suited fellow on the other end, reaching across the void from another dimension? Or Heaven? Well anyway, somewhere guys wear purple suits, so maybe the set of the Lawrence Welk Show.  The world may never know.

Naturally it takes time to print all those messages on cards (especially if you only have one hand to type with), so The Hand develops the ability to write in the air with…something?  Smoke, I guess, but red smoke? Maybe that’s a wall and he’s writing with marinara sauce.

When bad guys can’t be successfully prosecuted by the legal system, The Hand makes sure to brand them so all the world will know they’re evil.

That’s gonna play heck with their modeling jobs, at least until bangs come into fashion in the mid-60s.

And in case there’s ever any doubt where to focus your investigations, The Hand is always around to ID the prime suspect.

Duh, like the monocle wasn’t enough of a clue.

For whatever reason, the five-fingered crusader didn’t catch on as well as his ocular counterpart, managing only two appearances compared to The Eye’s eighteen.

Or maybe it’s just that The Hand was more efficient and achieved its career goals in a fraction of the time.   After all, everyone knows The Hand is quicker than The Eye.

Ba-DUM-Bum.  Thanks folks, I’ll be here all week.

BONUS! From Kerry Callan’s excellent blog comes this titanic tussle between The Hand and The Eye, settling once and for all who is superhero numero uno.