League of Extraordinary Oddballs: KEEP ‘EM FLYING!

Although he started off by merely “leaping tall buildings,” Superman soon evolved the power of flight, inspiring generations of kids across America to break their legs jumping off of roofs with towels tied around their necks and initiating a veritable super air force of flying heroes that continues to grow to this day.

Among the earliest characters to tap into man’s primal desire for independent flight was The Black Condor, in reality Richard Grey, Jr, orphaned when his parents are killed by a band of marauders in Outer Mongolia, and discovered as a helpless infant by a massive condor.

Yes, you might well expect a giant bird of prey to get a “strange gleam in its beady eyes” at the site of a helpless infant. But this is an especially strange gleam, because it signifies not hunger but maternal love.  The condor chooses to “adopt” baby Richard and raise him with its other children in a nest. Note to the legal team at the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate: this is totally different from Tarzan.  Tarzan was adopted by apes. Totally different.

Somehow despite being confined to a nest on top of a mountain peak, the kid grows up healthy and strong, and with a determination to fly like his brothers and sisters.  By the time he reaches young adulthood, he’s cracked the code.

So there you have it; with a positive mental attitude, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish.  If you haven’t yet managed to fly yourself, well that’s on you and your pathetically weak willpower.  Of course young Richard would have had a pretty lonely and boring life up there in that nest for so many years, and it’s hard to believe he hasn’t attempted flight at an earlier stage. Alas, leaping off a cliff to “fly” is one of those things you really only get one try at, so it’s lucky for him he gets it right the first time.

Eventually the Black Condor makes his way to civilization, adopts a fancy superhero costume and even spends his downtime as a member of the US Senate (a time-honored mecca for bird brains).  Apparently somewhere along the way he learns the English language so that all his campaign speeches aren’t limited to “Caww!! Caww!!”

Aside from the “raised by birds, therefore he can fly” angle, it’s actually not that bad a strip, with the highlight being some far-above-average artwork by guys like Reed Crandall and Lou Fine, who if anything make flying look cooler than when Superman does it.

It does mean having to come up with enemies who can take to the air as well, so we eventually get groovy notions like a squadron of evil Japanese “kite men.”

Meanwhile over in the pages of Prize Comics, we’re presented with another hero whose sole “superpower” is that of flight, in this case provided by a “flight fluid” he accidentally invents in his lab as a professor of Biology.  When doused with the fluid, Professor Stevens becomes lighter than air and fights crime as…wait for it…Airmale!.

Of course the problem with being lighter than air is that your punches don’t carry much force, so I guess that squirt gun comes in pretty handy.

You know what would really help, though?  A kid sidekick.  Not wanting to miss out on the “child endangerment” action, Airmale takes on a young partner. And with a name as dumb as “Airmale,” the other half of this dynamic duo could only be called…Stampy!

Down the street in Keen Detective Comics, Drake Stevens sees his ornithologist father murdered by crooks and resolves to fight crime as a bird-like hero.  Alas by this point, all the good names are taken: Black Condor, Black Owl, Red Raven, Eagle, Phantom Eagle, American Eagle, Hawkman, Falcon, even Robin and Black Canary.  So despite sporting “gas-filled wings” and a feathered head-dress, he skips the bird names entirely and goes with “Air Man.”

Shame about the bird names, though, because explosive “eggs” is a pretty good bird gimmick (and more kid-friendly than just pooping on enemies from above).

Eventually someone realizes that “gas-filled” (ie: inflatable?) wings might get you off the ground but wouldn’t really provide maneuverability, so they add in a jet-pack for thrust.

Meanwhile, there’s Fly-Man, who despite his name may not even have the power of flight, or at least doesn’t make much use of it. Taking a cue from insect-themed favorites like the Blue Beetle and the Green Hornet — and prefiguring the colossal success of the Amazing Spider-Man, our hero leverages the fearsome reputation of…umm…the common housefly. Except, again, he may not ever get around to flying, and just to make it all even less impressive, we first see him trapped on a piece of flypaper.

In reality our hero is Clip Foster, the newly-crowned Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the world. Apparently this doesn’t present a lot of opportunities in terms of product endorsements or paid appearances, because he still has nothing better to do with his spare time than serve as a guinea pig for his scientist father’s lab experiments. The latest one successfully shrinks him to 12 inches in height, which seems a bit large for a fly, but okay. If that Championship title ever does land him on the cover of a Wheaties box, now the picture can read “shown actual size.”

Before Clip can be restored to normal size, gangsters burst into the laboratory looking to be shrunk as well, the better to commit robberies (apparently the underworld keeps very close tabs on scientific research). In the ensuing struggle, the gang’s boss kills Clip’s father and throws poor little Clip at a bottle of acid, leaving his face horribly disfigured (though we don’t see it, which is probably just as well).  Resolving to battle evil (and why not, as those endorsements are definitely out with an acid-scarred face, and he’ll never meet the weight requirement for another bout in the ring), Clip takes up the identity of Fly-Man. 

This is the first we’ve heard of Dad wanting Clip to fight crime, but okay.  Luckily Dad had a really small sewing machine to make that costume, and included a full face mask so that for all anyone knows, Fly-Man could be any one of thousands of 12-inch tall adult males in America.

Ah, but there are at least a few other tiny guys running around, because those bad guys were indeed able to shrink themselves using Dad’s formula. And wouldn’t you know it, they’re using their diminutive stature for evil instead of niceness, sneaking into wealthy residences through keyholes, which are really big in this town given that the crooks are supposed to be a foot tall like Clip. They pass diamonds through the keyholes to their boss, despite the gems also being pretty large. I mean like Hope Diamond large.

And now we see that maybe the Fly-Man costume does have a pair of working wings, even though it’s never explicitly mentioned or explained, and half the time they look like a simple cloth cape.  Anyway, it sure seems as if he’s flying in a few panels.

Clip also retains the strength he had at full height, so he makes short work of the boss and his tiny helpers, at one point with the aid of a normal-sized knife. 

Ouch, that’s gonna leave a mark.

Later, it sure does seem as if he actually can’t fly after all as he has to hitch a ride on a seagull to get aboard a tugboat.

Only later he gets off the boat again using his own wings.

So maybe they’re just glider wings? Or something? I don’t know. Logic isn’t a top priority in these tales. Fly-Man only made two appearances as a back-up feature in Spitfire Comics (remember him?), which isn’t that surprising. When all the other kids in the neighborhood are playing ultra-powerful characters like Superman or Captain Marvel, who wants to be the superhero who’s shorter than everyone else, has a disfigured face and is named after a hated household pest? The kids of America were into superheroes they could aspire to be like, and by those standards, a foot-tall, disfigured freak was one concept that just wouldn’t fly.