League of Extraordinary Oddballs: HYDRO-MAN and RAINBOW BOY

Once a certain guy from Krypton made it obvious how much money there was in superhero comics, the race was on to duplicate his success at other publishers.  The challenge, though, was how to make a hero “super” without copying the Man of Steel closely enough to be sued. The answer was found in specialization: where Superman had a ton of powers, his imitators would focus on just one, like super speed, super strength or flight.  Maybe they could mimic the powers of a bird of prey or a jungle cat, or control elemental forces like fire or lightning.

Reg’lar Fellers’ Heroic Comics #1 may have gone a bridge too far, though, in delivering a hero whose powers were based on a fairly benign natural element: water.

The story begins with Bob Blake  (before starring in Beretta).  An enterprising young fellow, Bob visits his friend’s laboratory to investigate just how it is that a chemical formula has turned the guy’s hand into a gushing stream of water.  Interestingly, the scientist seems more intrigued than alarmed.

Alas, someone’s left a car battery (or a case of beer…or something) on the floor, and a lab assistant trips on it, spilling the remainder of the mystery chemical on our pal Bob and startling him powerfully enough for his fedora to levitate off his head before his entire body goes up in a geyser of H₂0.

Luckily, there’s also a “counteractive” formula on hand, and once it’s applied Bob is restored to human form.  Which is cool, but it does beg the question of why the scientist is so mystified by the effects of the chemical if he’s already developed a formula to counteract it.

Anyway, Bob’s no fool and realizes this is his big chance to earn the hard-earned dimes of comic readers across the country and maybe even get a slice of that sweet merchandising revenue Superman’s been raking in. He decides to become a superhero.  Recognizing the need for an eye-catching costume, he dons a flyer’s cap and goggles, a brass collar(!) and swim trunks to become…Hydroman!

In the interests of decency, he soon adds a shirt and pants, though they’re both apparently made of transparent cellophane, so not much is gained.

So…what does one do with the ability to turn to water?  Mostly it proves useful in matters of stealth.  For instance, Bob can climb into a water tower atop a bad guy’s headquarters, liquify himself and then enter a room via the faucet.

The next guy who pours himself a glass of water gets a nasty surprise.

Don’t ask me how he can talk with no vocal cords, I just work here.  Also I’m not sure how you can laugh and shout at the same time, but anyway at this point it becomes child’s play to convert to a geyser and drown the guy.  Well, maybe not fatally — it’s hard to tell — but either way it’ a fairly “gloves off” battle tactic to put an opponent “into a coma.”

Over the history of the strip, Bob becomes less prone to drown his foes, but the “glass of water entrance” remains a staple of the series for years. 

Luckily he always manages to make it out of the glass before someone drinks him.  Otherwise, it’ll be a couple hours before nature takes its course and he can finally re-enter the story in a significantly less dignified way.

In his liquid state, he can also ooze under doors or through windows or keyholes, so it’s fair to say almost no trap can hold him.  As a bonus, he can travel across nature’s waterways at tremendous speed.

And of course, the weapons in an average crook’s arsenal pose no real threat to a spurt of water.

Nonetheless, every now and then someone gets the drop on Bob and pistol-whips him while still in human form.  I kept waiting for someone to flash-freeze him in his water form and imprison him in their ice tray, but if it happened, I never saw it.  I could also never figure out how Bob retained his pistol when changing from solid to water and back again, but maybe the gun was soaked in that chemical, too.  Making it a water pistol, if you will.

Alas, somehow the ability to turn into a puddle didn’t thrill red-blooded youths as much as lifting cars or flying, so Hydro-Man never did end up on t-shirts and lunchboxes, or get his own movie serial or radio show. 

One superhero perk he did enjoy, however, was a kid sidekick. Enter…Rainbow Boy!

Just in time for Pride Week, Rainbow Boy shows up with a power set based on a natural force that packs even less power than water; namely, colors.

That’s right, young Jack has the power to dazzle.  We never learn exactly know how he triggers this formidable ability, but possibly it involves concentrating on his Judy Garland record collection.  Until now, he’s used this power only for musical theater, but now he’s ready to take on the criminal element.

He can temporarily blind baddies in a flash of colors, which is handy for throwing off their aim or making them crash their cars.  In rainbow form, bullets pass through him, but when solid he can land a punch and tie up his foes.

Ouch.  That has got to hurt, being called a “sissy” by a kid in that outfit.  Can you imagine what this guy’s life is going to be like in prison when the other inmates hear about this?

Nonetheless, Rainbow Boy is still just a kid, and has his limits.

I’m not sure I understand the strategy of announcing to the room that you expect to fail, but when your go-to fight move is rapping your foe on the shoulder with a downward stroke, you’re pretty sure to make your prediction come true.

It’s a little known fact, since most of us never manage to touch one, but rainbows can take on solid form, so Rainbow Boy wraps them around people and objects when needed..

Although they team up with some frequency, Hydro-Man and Rainbow Boy don’t share much of a connection.  They’re not related, their origins aren’t connected, Bob never adopts Jack in their civilian identities, they don’t live together in a mansion, etc.  

Still, let’s face it, a teenage boy dressed as a rainbow and a grown man in a transparent blouse were bound to end up together sooner or later.

If you want to read more, Hydro-Man’s adventures debut with Reg’lar Fellas Comics #1, and Rainbow Boy arrives with issue 14.