War By Any Other Name

In the proud tradition of Bill Clinton, who put a joint in his mouth to please half the room then refused to inhale so as to please the other half, the Obama administration is perfectly willing to continue Bush’s anti-terror policies, provided they’re stripped of all the confrontational language that puts the ACLU on high alert.

Thus the “war on terror” becomes an “overseas contingency operation” and terrorism itself is reclassified as a “man-caused disaster”.  Now satirist Joe Queenan has penned an article revealing what’s next for us in the kooky world of mealy-mouthed euphemisms.  The Taliban, he says, would like us to replace the term “beheading” with the more tactful “cephalic attrition,” while the government of Darfur would like to jettison “genocide” in favor of “maximum-intensity racial profiling.”

It would be even funnier if it weren’t true.

2 Comments

  1. The idea that language is more obfuscating and Orwellian can’t be more wrong, even from the examples cited here. “Overseas contingency operation” has a very specific, precise meaning in military jargon. A “contingency operation” is any military procedure where forces should expect to encounter hostility or opposition and are authorized to respond in kind against legitimate targets.

    In fact, I like the spirit this term represents: professionalism and military precision over the cartoonish simplifications and cheeseball comic book machismo of the Bush Years.

    A term like “War on Terror” should be done away with. It’s a remnant of an era when government didn’t treat the American people like adults with regards to a very real menace. The best example of this entire attitude was the Sesame Street-style color-coded Homeland Security terror alerts. By the way, these went away the instant Americans came to terms with their anxiety and grief over 9/11 and realized how laughable it all was.

    Further, what I find amusing about this article is this: it talks about manipulative language, but “War on Terror” is ITSELF is a part of the long list of goofy and cartoony language put out by the Bush Administration, along with such laughable 60’s Batman style camp chestnuts like David Frum’s masterpiece, “Axis of Evil” (are they going to fight Captain America?) and referring to terrorist baddies as “the evildoers.” When I first heard the C-Plus Augustus say this, I literally did a spit-take, to hear those words come from an adult. Don’t forget Freedom-this and freedom-that. It’s like William Dozier was a Bush speechwriter. During the Bush years, I half-expected Marines to be renamed “Freedom Scouts.”

    Also…what’s all this about getting your satire from the Wall Street Journal? The wealthy and connected are the subjects of satire and are thus, incapable of producing it themselves.

    There’s an old joke that the Wall Street Journal is read by the people that run the country, that the Boston Globe is read by the people who’s grandparents ran the country, USA Today is read by the people who don’t know who runs the country, the New York Post is read by the people who don’t care who runs the country, as long as they do so scandalously, and finally, the Miami Herald is read by the people that think they’re running another country.

    Finally, I don’t think we’ll have any trouble with the Jihad-types adopting this kind of language. They’re the ones that come up with terms like “Mother of all Wars” and “the Great Satan.” Leave it to the Arabs to out-Bush Bush. In fact, I remember reading an article where one terrorist organization took over the Khobar Petroleum Center in Saudi Arabia, where they announced (I kid you not) that they “found the British director and liquidated him.” ‘Liquidated’ being one of those cool words you don’t see anymore, at least outside of James Bond movies.

  2. Hi there, Julian! It’s been a while. Guess the key to drawing you out is to post a politically charged entry and leave it sitting at the top of the page for over a month! 🙂

    I’m hoping to be better about updating this summer, though, but don’t be a stranger. Hope things are going well for you down in the Sunshine State.

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